


arbitrary and capricious gods

by kisahawklin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canonical Character Death, I don't even know how to explain what this is, I'm Sorry, M/M, Supportive Dean, background Dean/Lisa - Freeform, it is like a prequel for part of my sastiel bb? kinda?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 23:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13844934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: Sastiel AU with Jack... Based on this prompt:





	arbitrary and capricious gods

**Author's Note:**

  * For [casquecest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casquecest/gifts).



Sam watches Cas play with Ben, catching him as he goes down the slide and racing him back to the ladder, over and over and over again. 

"Hey," Dean says, taking a seat next to Sam on the bench. "What's up?"

"Just heard from Kelly." Sam sighs deeply. "She's decided to keep the baby." Sam looks down at his hands. He's sad for himself, but he's devastated for Cas. 

"No way," Dean says, and his rising anger helps Sam get control of himself. "I thought you said she was raped? By a guy she calls 'Lucifer'!?"

"She was," Sam says. "But she says she's fallen in love with the baby. She can't give him up. She wants to call him Jack." He and Cas had been considering old fashioned names, Maximus and Dominic and Thaddeus. 

"That sucks, man. I'm sorry." Dean puts a hand on his shoulder. 

"Me too." 

"You haven't told him yet?" They sit and watch Cas with Ben, all smiles. Ben's two and a half, and completely adores his uncle Cas. 

"Nope," Sam says. "She apologized to me. For wanting to keep her own baby."

Dean squeezes his shoulder and stands. "Because she knows what great dads you're going to be. Hang in there, little brother. You'll have an amazing kid someday."

Sam nods, smiling a little when Dean leans down and kisses the top of his head. 

"Hang in, Sam."

"I will," Sam answers. "Promise."

Sam watches Dean jog over to where Cas and Ben have started a game of tag-slash-hide-and-seek around the little slide's ladder. Ben goes running to Dean, squealing when he picks him up and twirls him. Cas beams at them with genuine happiness, and Sam's going to break his heart.

It doesn't take more than a minute before Cas looks his way, making his polite but quick goodbyes and coming over to join him. "You okay?" 

Sam shakes his head. 

"Whatever it is, it's fine, Sam."

Sam just shakes his head. "Kelly called. She's going to keep the baby."

The color drains from Cas's face. "When –"

"Just now. While you were playing with Ben."

"Did you…" Cas looks up at him, tears already falling and Sam pulls him into a hug. Cas sniffles against his shirt. "Did you tell her we'd still be the gay uncles?"

Sam can't quite laugh. "I told her you'd call in a few days."

XoX

It's not even a few hours before Cas is on the phone with Kelly. She's due in two months, so a few days was probably a stretch anyway.

The tears turn to laughter pretty quickly, and Cas is agreeing to be in the room with her during the birth despite everything. Sam tries not to be bitter, but he can't help it. His mouth tastes like ash. 

It doesn't go away over the next week. Or the week after that. And then Cas is called away from work because Kelly goes into labor early, and the bitterness is mixed with a strange sense of trepidation he just can't shake. 

Kelly'd named Cas as the father of the baby early on. Sam's not sure if she ever told her doctor about the rape; they've been paying her medical bills since they made their arrangement and most people assume it's a typical surrogate situation. It makes a lot of things easier. Cas can be present in the room while she's giving birth, for one, and they'd gotten permission for Sam, too, but he's torn. He walks the halls of the hospital, trying to be happy for Kelly when he feels like he's dying inside. 

He hears the code blue. It's the third one he's heard over the twenty-some hours they've been in the hospital. He doesn't think anything of it until Cas is shoved out of the room, shaken and pale.

It's a mad dash to get his arms around Cas, and then holding on tight, feeling like a complete asshole for the way his brain is already running a million miles an hour before the doctor comes out and tells them what happened. 

Sam ends up doing the paperwork for the baby as well as making arrangements for Kelly. He calls Dean and Lisa in and Dean helps Cas with their newborn son while Lisa helps Sam plan a funeral and get their house ready for a baby they weren't expecting. 

Jack is discharged to Cas while they're out shopping for clothes, and when they get back to the apartment, Cas has wrapped him in Sam's favorite t-shirt. 

Sam's been emotionally detached since Kelly called two weeks ago, trying to manage his own emotions around this whole mess, and seeing Jack in his purple shirt, the greyhound practically wrapped all the way around his tiny body, makes his heart clench.

Cas hands him over and Sam looks down at the tiny baby in his arms, blue eyes to rival his husband's. "I got a bad feeling about this," he says, trying a few different bouncing and jiggling tactics before finding one Jack seems to like. Thank god Dean had a kid first and Sam's had practice at this part. "I think you're gonna break my heart, little man."

It's almost exactly what he said to Cas after their third date – minus the "little man." Cas hooks his chin over Sam's shoulder to look down at their son. "He's gonna break it wide open," Cas says, and that is absolutely the truth.

OxO

Sam waits patiently for Jack to sit down at the top of the slide, and then throws his arms wide, trying to get him to push himself off. It takes a minute, but he goes, and Sam grabs him and sets him on his feet so he can toddle over to where his Poppa's waiting at the steps.

Dean's with Ben over on the jungle gym, and as Jack appears at the top of the slide, all Sam can think is that he never thought his life could be this perfect.


End file.
